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Sarcasm folks, it’s the answer. Show me someone who’ll say this game is POS, and I’ll have the bear run ‘em over!

Enviro-Bear 2010 ($0.99)

We thought we’ve seen it all! From a triangle pastel character rolling junk (See Katamari) to why we engage in giving such harsh actions toward leaf covered people (See Pocket God). But now, we think we REALLY have seen it all. Enviro-Bear 2010 is the wildest and fun-est game to be had currently.

Forums: Enviro-Bear 2010

Presentation

Oh gosh. I don’t know where to really start. Umm, let’s start with Microsoft Paint. The graphics are as if it’s drawn in Paint. I’d be surprised if it wasn’t. At first glance, the game looks like KRAPPS.com material to us. But then we saw it slowly gain rank, and of course its G4 Attack of the Show Appearance!

The game is a testament to the ancient saying: do NOT judge the book by its cover. The graphics may not be all that, but the gameplay MORE THAN makes up it. Plus, I think it’s not as if the developer couldn’t hire a graphic artist, he just wanted to create his own “environment” and thus the game.

Controls

Surprisingly at first, the game is NOT multi touch. Mr Enviro Bear is one handed and can only touch one object at a time. You put the gear on drive, “step” on the gas, let go then turn the steering wheel.

Sounds pretty difficult eh? We’re not going to lie. I was pretty slow to pick it up, but once you get going, you’ll go on a rampage.

Gameplay

Prepare to listen very carefully and what we’re going to tell you isn’t a joke. You’re a bear driving a brown car. Your goal is to eat a certain amount of fish and berries, then you need to hibernate. If you don’t hibernate, you’ll get snowed in and die.

The blue swamps where fishes can be had stand out. Just drive to there and fish automagically jumps inside the car. As for berries, they should be green shrubs with red dots. Hit the shrub and you get berries.

The environment is very sandboxy. If you hit a tree, oak thinggies fall inside your car. These things block your gas and brake pedals and thus you’ll need to grab them and throw them upwards to make it disappear.

Of course, that’s not all! Little raccoons (?) attack your car, and they’re really fidgity once inside. They’ll go on a rampage, switch your gears etc etc etc. Solution? Throw them outside.

The game lives and dies this way. It’s pretty simple and really REALLY fun!

Suggestions

Believe it or not, the game is not lacking in graphics. The game’s weirdness comes  from it and thus should not be touched. These however we can suggest:

• Proper Menu system. Start Game, Help, About page. The usual stuff.
• Pause
• Save game on exit and calls
• More environments
• Car customizations (?)

Conclusion

As I said, there is more to the game than the “crappy” graphics. We need more games like these. They’re out of this world and does not make sense at all, thus they are dubbed epic.

We still don’t know why a bear drives a car but this we know: this game is probably the hottest $0.99 game pick up at this moment.

Contest

What do you say? Justin Smith hooked us up to give the game to you guys. Rules? Use bear in a sentence. The funniest and wackiest gets the code.

Contest Ends July 20, Monday, 3PM.

Extra point for posting: Forums: Enviro-Bear 2010